"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;

12 September 2011 @ 02:24 am

I remember many years ago when I was probably four years old. My mother picked me up from day-care at around a Spring mid-afternoon. The sun was comfortably beaming and the wind carefully passed through the air. Often I'd hear the call of a mourning bird off in the distance. It always produced a nostalgic feeling inside of my soul.

I sat in the back seat of my mom's car and she buckled my seatbelt -- checking each section to make sure that I was securely fastened. Then most unexpectedly she handed me two boxes and in a high-pitched Korean-mother-accent, she simply said "G.I. Joe! And… Little Mermaid!"

In one box was a brand new G.I. Joe action figurine: Clad in a plain white tee, camo-pants, thick rubber boots, helmet, and tiny plastic M16. By all means an impressive toy. The second was a Disney Sing-Along Songs VHS. There was Ariel and Flounder one the front cover, smiling as they sat under the sea. I knew the first thing I would do when I got home was play the tape and watch while playing with my new toy soldier.

It's a wistful memory which has always persisted in my mind. It's a memory which I miss, and if given the opportunity would be tempted to revisit. If any reason so that I can experience it again through more matured eyes. And perhaps better see a simple act of love from a mother to her young child. To revisit a moment of absolute purity.

It's a purity I desperately long for and to one day become.

1 comment | Leave a comment

05 July 2011 @ 03:35 am

Freedom is Blowin' in the Wind

freedom – noun
1. the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint.
2. exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.
3. the power to determine action without restraint.

It's been fairly common for me to hear the concept of freedom being tossed around, especially during the 4th of July holiday. That I can enjoy the freedoms I have today. The freedom to have a job; the freedom to walk down the street and buy something from the corner store; the freedom to have legal rights if wronged; the freedom to voice my opinion. But while I am happy to have these freedoms, I can’t quite see how these are strictly America ideals. For one thing, I can have the same freedoms in many other countries. Other countries hold even more freedoms than America does (e.g. the right for two gay people to be married). If I were a citizen of Finland, I don't think Finland's police will arrest me for speaking out against their government.

But at the same time, I’m not sure what this term “freedom” even means. For one thing, there are many things I can’t do in this country. Many things I could do have plenty of legal sanctions if I did them. I have to pay a fine if I drive through a red-light. I can’t drive a car without license and registration. And I can’t buy alcohol if I’m under 21, and even if I were I'd probably be denied service if asked for my ID and I didn't have it. I can’t even install a pool in my backyard without the approval of the Homeowners Association.

So I think this concept of freedom is illusory. I feel like the freedom that my country offers me is not true freedom, but rather the concoction that they have created and then labeled as freedom. It's entirely relative to the context which it is administered from. And then I can either happily take it or leave it. Pack up my bags and leave to another country where freedom is apparently less of a commodity.

And all these years, I’m told that soldiers and veterans have fought for my freedom. Freedom from what? Tyranny? Oppression? Who has been genuinely trying to oppress me? Which outside invaders has really tried to take away my freedoms? Are there people that I believe want to? I believe so. But I think it’s very few compared to what I’ve always been fed throughout the years. For one thing, current-day Muslim extremists were once fond of our partnership with them during the 70s. After the fact that we created them to combat against the Soviet invaders, which we were probably responsible for instigating in the first place (thank you, Mr. Brzezinski).

But what about the people who have suffered by the hands of American foreign policy? Operation PBSUCCESS in Guatemala and Iranian coup d’etat in the 50s? Operation Menu in Cambodia and Laos in the 60s-70s? Operation Cyclone in Afghanistan in the 70s? NATO’s bombings of Kosovo in the 90s? And we’re currently bombing Pakistan and Yemen right now too, to which I think there are darker and more selfish reasons beyond “killing bad guys”.

How can I relish my own America-styled freedoms if it is at the expense of the freedoms and lives of other people?

If am an individual who believes that Jesus is the perfect embodiment of love, and that all people ought to also embody said love, how can I love a country which holds values that I find not only immoral, but polar-opposite to the teachings of Christ? How do I, as a Christian, say “I love my country” when it seems that the benefits I have are at the expense of the well-being of other people? How do I, as someone who wants to try his best to embody the unconditionally selfless love of God, love a country that I believe purposefully manipulates others -- often leading to much bloodshed -- for their own self-interests? How do I, as an individual who believes that Christ called us to nonviolence, love a country which has countlessly supported and justified war?

I feel like saying “I love both Jesus and my country” is such a diametrically opposed position that it just can’t be possible. It’s having two masters. Jesus preached about that, basically saying that you can’t.

How does a Christian in Nazi Germany go “I love my country”? And by no means am I comparing America to Nazi Germany, but rather I am comparing the existential question of loving an entity which I think both creates and perpetuates evil in the world.

Or does the grace of God really enable me to love a faulty -- or perhaps downright immoral -- ideology? Is it perhaps too much for me to demand perfection? Does loving a country despite its major flaws follow the same principle as loving a person despite his or her major flaws? If this is so, then mustn’t I also do my best to love Stalin’s Regime? Hitler’s Third Reich? The Khmer Rouge? Al-Qaeda? The PLO? Muammar Gaddafi?

Perhaps like all definitions, the definition of the idea of “America” is also constantly changing. And is “America” a piece or fragment of the concept of “Humanity”? Because I believe I should do my best to love humanity.

I ask myself very sincerely and very genuinely: How do I, as a Christian, love my country? And this isn't a question about my stance on my theology of Christianity, but a down-to-earth question regarding my involvement in my own nation as someone with a set of ideals.

So how? After giving this some serious thought (including the time I've been writing this) I can't come up with an acceptable answer except for this one: I can't. But by no means am I quite content with this answer and I keep thinking about it. I've been told by people that I can by loving the good that a country can do while working towards fixing the bad. I guess the problem I have with this is whether or not I can really compartmentalize these into separate categories or not. That and whether or not a good action may either be strictly American or rather just a human response -- and the question as to if this really makes a difference or not. And does the bad outweigh the good? I dunno either. Does quantity even really matter?

Ya know, Guatemala was apparently a pretty nice place to live before the CIA's Operation PBSUCCESS. Had we not have involved ourselves in staging a coup (all for an American fruit company) then there wouldn't have been a 36-year civil war period which resulted the loss of over 200,000 lives.

200,000.

That's too many people.

"Yes and how many deaths will it take till he knows that too many people have died?"

1 comment | Leave a comment

04 May 2011 @ 11:46 pm

Bittersweet

One late autumn night, the disciple awoke crying. So the master asked the disciple,

“Did you have a nightmare?”

“No.”

“Did you have a sad dream?”

“No,” said the disciple. “I had a sweet dream.”

“Then why are you crying so sadly?”

The disciple wiped his tears away and quietly answered,

“Because the dream I had can’t come true.”

Leave a comment

02 May 2011 @ 12:50 am

Blessed

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,

For they

Will be called

Children

Of

God

2 comments | Leave a comment

01 May 2011 @ 05:48 pm

Thoughts

What do I know about God and the purpose of life?
I know that this world exists.
That I am placed in it like my eye in its visual field.
That something about it is problematic, which we call its meaning.
This meaning does not lie in it but outside of it.
That life is the world.
That my will penetrates the world.
That my will is good or evil.
Therefore that good and evil are somehow connected with the meaning of the world.
The meaning of life, i.e. the meaning of the world, we can call God.
And connect with this the comparison of God to a father.
To pray is to think about the meaning of life.

To believe in a God means to understand the question about the meaning of life.
To believe in a God means to see that the facts of the world are not the end of the matter.
To believe in God means to see that life has a meaning.

-Ludwig Wittgenstein (1916)

Leave a comment

28 April 2011 @ 02:07 am

Heavy Boots

Often times I tell people that I'm "just tired of it all."

They usually think I'm referring to just classes and such. But in reality it's far more than that. There's far too much wrong in this world and I begin feeling disillusioned with it all.

When I'm feeling selfish I lose a bit of my idealism and become a little fatalistic about things. And these times I feel like non-existence would be a much more viable state to be in. Oh, Rumi and Tolstoy. You two are my loves.

Martin Heidegger writes about how we as individuals are "thrusted" into existence. Forced to live this life without our permission. Granted we can't decide to live before we live, but I digress.

“Where am I? Who am I? How did I come to be here? What is this thing called the world? How did I come into the world? Why was I not consulted? And If I am compelled to take part in it, Where is the director? I want to see him.”
-Soren Kierkegaard

But I am here. And this is what it seems. And I believe that there's this being or idea called "God" who, by my own ontological belief about God, loves me.

And I'm supposed to emulate that. Sometimes I want to. Other times I don't.

I love The Fox from The Little Prince: "Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

It seems that I just have to keep on living and keep on loving.

3 comments | Leave a comment

19 April 2011 @ 04:16 am

Truth

"When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

1 comment | Leave a comment

13 April 2011 @ 09:02 am

Lolol

I go to an Conservative Assemblies of God school. Majority of theology department is liberal.

Wat?

So basically in my morning class a religion professor guest-spoke for 45 minutes about how much the Tea Party and Republicans suck and want to fuck over the poor and disabled.

Best. 8:00 AM Class. Ever.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Tags: via ljapp

5 comments | Leave a comment

06 April 2011 @ 12:48 am

On Love - An Excerpt

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

-Khalil Gibran
The Prophet

1 comment | Leave a comment

18 March 2011 @ 01:20 am

A Franciscan Blessing

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. Amen.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace. Amen.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. Amen.

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done. Amen.

And the Blessing of God, who Creates, Redeems and Sanctifies, be upon you and all you love an pray for this day, and forever more. Amen.

2 comments | Leave a comment

				1	2	3
4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28	29	30